Treasure Island, and a Pair of Long Johns
List of Characters
Narrator – unseen, the adult Jim
Large John Silver – has two legs, and a stuffer parrot
Small John Silver – one leg, and a crutch
Jim Hawkins – the simple cabin-boy
Mrs Hawkins – Jim’s mother, posh voice
Squire Treeloony – the bumbling squire
Doctor Lively – local doctor, posh, fancies Mrs H
Billy Bones – retired pirate, has the map
Blind Pew – blind sailor, finds Billy, gives him the Black Spot
Black Dog – Billy’s former mate
Captain Smellit – ship’s captain, smelly
Mister Blister – first mate, gruff, strict
Jolly Roger – a gay sailor
Morgan – a Welsh sailor
Murphy – an Irish sailor
Macdonald – a Scottish sailor
Brenda Gunn – the castaway
Black-beard – pirate chief, nasty
Blue-beard – his second-in-command
Red-beard – slightly smaller pirate
Magnolia-beard – smaller still pirate
Primrose-beard – quite small pirate
Lavender-beard – really small pirate
No-beard – tiny pirate
Ribena – female, native chief
Kia Ora – male, medicine-man, speaks in tongues
Mag – a mussel-digger, dialect part
Sundry locals, natives, dancers
The story synopsis
The story is loosely based on the book ‘Treasure Island’, but – as always with my scripts – there are major deviations from the original. There are many references to R L Stevenson’s book, as published, which will mean something to those who are familiar with the story, but which should also be funny enough to those who have not read the book, or who read it so long ago that they have forgotten it all.
Scenery Notes.
There is little or no action in front of tabs, but there is an unseen narrator, who fills in the gaps in the story between scenes, allowing time for props changes; the more to do, the longer the narrator speaks. Early scenes in Act 1 all take place in an inn – firstly at the ‘Admiral Bendover’, then at an inn in Maryport Harbour, the ‘Tabby and Telescope’, so there are minor scenery changes. Then there are scenes on the deck of the ship, and later, on the island. The ‘inn scenery’ is at the back of the stage; inn scenes are full-stage scenes. The ship scenes are half-stage scenes with the mid curtains drawn, allowing time to change rear scenery from ‘inn’ to ‘island’. In Act 2, the same applies; the ship scene is half-stage, to change the rear scenery from ‘island’ to ‘sandbank’.
The story opens in an old inn – ‘The Admiral Bendover’, in Beckfoot – which is run by Jim Hawkins and his mother; Mr Hawkins died a year or so ago, and left them to run the inn. One day, an old sailor appears, and asks to stay there. He seems to be worried about being found by some other sailors, who eventually track him down to the inn. He falls ill, and Jim and his mother look after him, but after he is given an ultimatum by his former shipmates, he has a stroke and dies.
Jim and his mother search through his belongings, looking for his money to pay off his debts to them, and while they are doing so, Jim finds a map which says it shows where treasure is to be found. They show it to Dr Lively, the local doctor, (who has taken a fancy to the Widow Hawkins) and he suggests that they organise a voyage to find the treasure. They tell their story to the local squire, Squire Treloony, who agrees to fund the expedition. He goes to Maryport to hire a ship and organise a crew. He enlists Captain Smellit and his ship the Pianola, and meets an innkeeper called Large John Silver (and his twin brother Small John Silver), and they hire all the crew-members. When the ship is ready, they set sail, following the directions give on the old map and papers.
They sail to the supposedly deserted island where the crew mutinies, but where they find another band of pirates, a castaway called Brenda Gunn and a tribe of natives. They find numerous clues to the whereabouts of the treasure, but eventually find that in fact there is no treasure there after all, but they find another clue which points them to a sandbank in the Solway Firth, where the real treasure is buried. They sail back to England, and eventually manage to locate the treasure, with local help. They dig it up and share it out – Dr Lively and Mrs H get married, Small John gets his operation, Large John marries native chief Ribena, and Jolly Roger marries Brenda.
A short script sample . . .
ACT 1
Announcer: Ladies and gentlemen, the Mawbray Entertainers present: “Treasure Island and a pair of Long Johns” – or, as it will be called when it’s filmed next year:– “Pirates of the Caribbean Seven – The Curse of the Shifting Solway Sands” – try saying that with a mouthful of crisps!
(Unseen) Narrator: My name is Jim Hawkins, and this is my story. It all began a long time ago, when I was but a simple youth. For the start of this tale, I must take you back many years, to the year 1799, and to the bar of the ‘Admiral Bendover’, the old inn at Beckfoot which my mother and I had run together since the death of my father. Why, I remember it as if it were yesterday . . .
Scene 1a – The Admiral Bendover Inn
[curtains open – pub scene – several customers on stage]
[Sea Shanty: ‘What shall we do with the drunken sailor’, & dance routine]
[Mrs H behind bar: pub door opens, enter Billy Bones]
Billy: Ahoy there, be this the inn called the Admiral Bendover . . .
Mrs H: [comes out from behind bar] Oh yes, sir, it be – I mean it is – and we were voted: ‘Cumberland Inn of the Year’ in 1792, and . . .
Billy: [interrupts] Never mind about that, who else be livin’ ‘ere?
Mrs H: Why, there’s just me and my boy Jim now, since my dear husband was taken from us twelve-month since. [blows nose loudly] And business hasn’t been so good lately, what with the Revenue Men having a purge on smuggling, and the price of fish being so high . . .
Billy: [interrupts] So, it be a quiet kind o’ place, eh? Just the kind o’ berth I’m a-lookin’ fer – would there be a room for me – I’ll pay you a golden guinea a week, for bed and board – an’ rum, o’ course.
Mrs H: A golden guinea a week?! Why, yes sir, of course there’s a room for you, and food and drink, too. We have a Cumberland Tourist Board three-star rating for all our rooms – would you be wanting one with the private facilities?
Billy: With a private what?
Mrs H: Private facilities . . . you know, for washing and [mimes flushing a toilet] . . oh, and our cuisine really is the talk of the town. [calls out] Jim!
Billy: Talk o’ the town, bah! I don’t want no fancy food, and I don’t want no private faculties! All I want is what all sailors have – bacon ‘n eggs, and salt pork ‘n ship’s biscuits, washed down with grog!
Mrs H: Oh dear! And we were going to have a nice Lemon Sole tonight, too – oh where is that boy? Jim! JIM! [enter Jim]
Jim: Yes, mother?
Mrs H: Oh there you are, dear. Now Jim, this nice gentleman is going to take one of our rooms.
Jim: But mother, where’s he going to take it? We need all our rooms.
Mrs H: Oh Jim you silly boy, I mean he’s going to stay here in one of our rooms, not take it away with him. [to Billy] He’s a bit silly at times, aren’t you, Jim? [to Jim] Now this gentleman is going to pay us a guinea a week – that’s in advance, I hope?
Billy: Here! [throws down some coins] Tell me when I’ve used that up.
[Jim picks up coins, bites them, gives them to Mrs H]
Mrs H: Oh thank you, sir! [curtseys] Now, I must go at once and get your room ready for you – look after him, now, Jim. [quick exit]
Billy: You, boy! Look sharp now, an’ come over here! I need yer to tell me something. [Jim approaches Billy] Did you ever see, anywhere around these parts, a man with a wooden leg, name o’ Silver?
Jim: [thinks] Man with a wooden leg name of Silver? What was his other leg called?
Billy: No, no – the MAN were called Silver, not ‘is leg – Large John Silver they call ‘im. Have you ever seen such a man hereabouts?
Jim: [thinks again] No, I don’t think so, I would have remembered a man with a wooden leg. Why do you ask?
Billy: Never you mind why, young Jim. Or might you have seen a man who taps along with a stick, they call ‘im Blind Pew?
Jim: Why do they call him Blind Poo?
Billy: Why? Because e’s blind o’ course! And it’s Pew, not Poo.
Jim: Oh, I see.
Billy: Well? Have you seen him, or haven’t you?
Jim: No, I haven’t seen him either.
Billy: Well now Jim-lad, I tell you what. You keep a good weather-eye open for me. If you ever sees either o’ them lubbers, you come an’ tell me quick! I’ll give ‘ee a silver fourpence like this each week for your trouble. [gives Jim a coin]
Jim: Fourpence! Wow!
Billy: But mind you tell me quick if you sees ‘em boy, or you’ll find out what the back o’ my hand feels like!
Jim: [looks puzzled, feels his own hands] I know what hands feel like, do yours feel different?
Billy: They will do when they land on your ears! Now then, look lively, take me to my cabin – and bring my sea-chest along.
Jim: Yes – I say, what’s your name? I don’t know what to call you.
Billy: [thinks] Cap’n. You might just call me Cap’n.
[exit Billy, & Jim dragging chest: curtains close]
Narrator: The Captain stayed with us for a long time, spending most of his day drinking our rum. Every day, he would walk along the clifftops, looking out to sea, and daily he inquired if I had seen the old sailor with one leg. I began to conjure up images of the man, wondering how he had lost his leg, and how much it troubled him. The money that the Captain had paid us for his lodging was soon gone, and every day he spent more and more of the time drunk; my poor mother was too afraid of him to ask for any more money. Then, one day . . .
Scene 1b – The Admiral Bendover Inn – again
[curtains open – Jim on stage, wiping table: enter Black Dog]
Black Dog: Ah, come here, lad. I’m looking for a ship-mate o’ mine, name of Billy Bones. Is he staying here?
Jim: No sir, there’s no-one staying here – except the Cap’n, and he’s gone out for his walk.
Black Dog: Ah, he calls himself Cap’n, now, does he, eh? That sounds like my Bill. Tell me boy, is he a sailor with a big chest?
Jim: [look down at his chest] No, not that big – about a 38-regular, I should think.
Black Dog: No, no, I mean a sailor’s chest – has ‘e got a SEA-chest!
Jim: Oh yes, he’s got one of them – it’s a great big brown one with leather straps, and metal bits on the corners and a big lock and –
Black Dog: [interrupts] And when will he be back?
Jim: Oh quite soon I should think. He’ll be wanting his afternoon rum.
Black Dog: Then I’ll just wait over here for him, quiet like. Mind you don’t tell him I’m here – it’s a surprise. [sits down, away from door]
Jim: Oh goody! I like surprises!
Black Dog: Aye, and so does my mate Bill! [laughs]
The Desolate Tree 