From this page it is now possible to see further details – the cast of characters, story outline and a script sample – from each the comedy plays which I have written, and which will be available for small theatre groups who want to put on something – well, something a little different. The plays have all been produced, performed by a group of dedicated amateurs – with great success – over four consecutive nights in a village hall with a seating capacity of little more than a hundred. One play was also performed by a student theatre group at Durham University. Each production was a virtual sell-out, and every year the group raised a substantial amount of money, divided between the running costs of the hall and various local charities.
A word of warning – none of the plays are particularly ‘politically correct’ – but then traditional English pantomime is never so. Oh no it isn’t.
In order of writing – and performance – the plays were:
2005 – Jason and the Golden Fleece – a version of the famous epic story from the Greek Myths, with the Gods, some Amazons, a Chinese cabin boy, a homing pigeon, two narrators who speak in rhyme and with full audience participation as rowers in the ship’s crew
2006 – King Arthur and the (fairly) Round Table – very loosely based on the Arthurian legend, with daft builders, gay knights and a 1950s Merlin who has a trainee wizard called Harry
2007 – Treasure Island & a Pair of Long Johns – this twist on the well-known pirate tale features twin John Silvers, some radical transplant surgery, scary natives on the deserted island and a ‘gender-realignment’ creating castaway Brenda Gunn
2008 – Cleopatra, or get your hands off my asp! – a tale of family intrigue and in-fighting in Ancient Egypt, with a talking sphinx, an ‘American’ Julius Caesar with his minders, two priestesses, some dim taxidermists, union troubles for the pyramid builders and of course a poisonous asp
2009 – The Scarlet Pimple – a tale of derring-do during the French Revolution with Napoleon and Josephine, a pair of bumbling Englishmen trying to rescue aristocrats from the troubles, aided by a West-country innkeeper, Milady and a sexy French maid
2010 – Geronimo! or, Do you have a reservation? – what with the native Indians fighting for their rights, Diamond Lil’s saloon with its Dutch barman, Calamity Jane, two drunken deputies and a gay outlaw, sheriff Wyatt Burp has his work cut out
2011 – Hadrian and That Wall – the warring local tribes – the Picts and the Brigantes – react differently to the Romans building that wall, and there is chaos when Hadrian visits the local fort, as slaves Milo and Horlix try to cover up for their mistress as she plays the field
Go to each sub-page for more information about each production. Some recent editing is being done to the scripts where possible, but there are topical references (they were topical then!) in the scripts which would need to be brought up to date, and changes would have to be made to the local names and places referred to.
All the scripts will have full stage directions, specially-written words for songs and come with a full cast list and description of the characters, suggestions for scenery and props and photos of the performances.
If you know of an amateur dramatics group who may like to put on a production of one of these plays, you can use the ‘get in touch’ page to – well, to get in touch. Obvious really.
The Desolate Tree 