Generation and Regeneration:
Book Four of The Desolate Tree
This is the ‘blurb’ for the final book in the series, which is published today.
1996. After the ups and downs of the past few years, Michael and Jennifer Radcliffe are hoping for a more peaceful life in the future, but a voice from the distant past and an unexpected arrival precipitate a whole new sequence of highs and lows both in the Radcliffe household, and beyond.
To read a preview of this book in the Kindle store, follow the link below
http://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/B00QNYKC0
There are some dialogue ‘tasters’ here now, but if you haven’t done so already go and read the other books first, or browse here at your peril. Yes now, at once – go and read them, you know you want to.
Edward leaned forward. “There have always been, and there will always be, both the unexplained and the unexplainable.”
“Oh God – I suppose I’m just not cut out to be a mother. Or even a wife. Maybe all of this, my whole life has been one horrible mistake. God, what a mess I am.” She burst into tears. “What am I going to do now? I mean, I’m the problem in all this aren’t I? It’s no-one else – it’s me, it’s always been me. Whatever I do, wherever I go, I seem to cause trouble.”
“Can I – could I have a piece of the wood, please?” The man laughed as he picked up the chainsaw. “You can have the whole bleeding lot if you like, save me a job.”
“Oh Mum, you do lead a very mixed up life, don’t you? You started off with just two real daughters of your own, and now look at you. Any more coming along?” “Oh dear God I hope not! I’ve already got grandchildren who are older. Look at me, I’ll be fifty-four next birthday and I’ve got a two-year-old! Please, tell me that’s enough for God’s sake.”
She put her hands on her hips. “You know, there’s definitely something repulsive and disgusting about watching old people making love. Ugh, I probably shan’t be able to eat any breakfast now.”
She looked up. He spoke with quite a strong accent, and she shook his hand. “Oh, hello. Yes, I’m her sister.” “Yes I could tell already that. And you are a model also?” She laughed. “Me? No, I work for a living! I work in a garden centre.”
“All these years, I mean ever since I’ve known you, I always thought you were a natural blonde anyway. What’s the natural colour?” She touched her head. “This is – or will be when it’s grown a bit more. I’m SBM – Standard British Mouse. Light-brown, dark-fair, mud-beige call it what you will, just plain English mongrel.”
“So why aren’t you away in the sunshine this year?” “Oh, I relented. Out of the kindness of my heart I said we could stay in England just for this year – just England though, not Scotland – he had to promise not to try to drag me off to spend New Year with all those unintelligible woad-wearing haggis-eaters north of the border.”
“When it happened, last Monday – his accident – do you know the thought that flashed into my mind at that instant? It suddenly struck me, this is a punishment from God, it’s a kind of divine retribution for me, for what I did last weekend. I didn’t think I was an awfully religious person these days – but when I heard what had happened, I truly believed that God was punishing me for what I had done, punishing me by hurting him.” She drained her glass and shuddered as she carried on, still looking at the floor. “I try to tell myself that realistically it isn’t that, it can’t be – but for those few minutes it was terrifying, I was absolutely certain of it, and I was petrified. I collapsed on the floor when his friends came and told me about the accident, and I’m sure they thought it was the shock – but it wasn’t, it was that awful instant of realization.”
“But up until now I’ve always believed that one day you would come back – to live here again, so I that could see you every day, be around to help look after your children in the future – and now you won’t – you won’t ever be back.”
“Ooh, what a bastard, and yes you’re right, it is just awful. Madge, you’re an angel. Thank you so much for that, and I’ll pop in and see you soon. Bye for now.” He put the phone down, and turned to find Jen still in the room, smiling. She folded her arms as she looked at him, trying hard to frown. “So Mr Radcliffe, I think I need an explanation, please. Just who is Madge, why is she an angel, and who’s the bastard?”
“These two kids don’t have any money yet, and soon there’ll be three of them. I don’t need the house, I don’t want the worry of it any more, and I know they’ll look after it properly for me. It’s what I want to do, girl.”
“Come here, you! You told the world that I used to bounce you on my knee when you were little, so let’s see if I can still do it now.” Unsteadily she tottered over to him, sat on his lap and giggled, putting her arms round his neck. “There, how’s that? I’ve grown a bit since we last did this, haven’t I?”
“Can I put my arm round you, it won’t hurt will it?” “Of course you can you idiot, I’m not that fragile. I want you to, I want you to be with me all the time now, day and night, forever – ” She started to cry. “Oh God, I am so scared, I’m such a coward with anything medical – tubes and needles and surgery, I hate the very thought of it.”
“Where does the time go? God, I’ll be forty-two next birthday.” “Only forty-two? Hah, you should worry, I’m already fifty-three – why that’s half way to being a hundred and six! Anyway, your real age doesn’t matter, they say you’re only as old as you feel.” “Is that what they call positive thinking? Each birthday’s only a half-way point? You mean on my next birthday I’ll be just half-way to eighty-four?”
“Oh Mum, let’s not fight again, not this time. Please, just be happy for me, wait till you meet him, he’s coming over next month specially to meet you and Dad. I don’t want us to argue again. Not about this. Please.” She took both her hands. “Oh all right. Did you – have you slept with him yet?” She laughed. “What? Sharing a suite with the girls in a hotel? That wouldn’t have been very good ‘escort’ behaviour, would it, bonking away in the other room!”
“He told me his Mom was just twenty-one when she got married although his Dad was older. He can’t understand why I didn’t just say yes at once. I – I think he was a bit hurt, and he got very cross with me.” She started to cry. “He got cross. He said – he said I didn’t wanna marry him because he was a cripple.”
“The problem has always been the same, all our lives – that you and me, we both want the same man. But you see he’s mine. He’s my man, my husband. I got there first and he’s mine, and he loves me and that’s the big difference.”
“I’m going to have a bath now, a nice deep relaxing bath. And if by chance I should happen to leave the door unlocked, it’s just because I might need my back washed.” Michael rubbed his chin. “Mmm. How about your front too?” She gasped in mock shock. “Oh Mr Radcliffe, what a suggestion!” She grinned. “I’ll have the soap ready.”
“He told me what you had said about the tree, about it shedding that branch on purpose. He was worried, he said you really still believed there was some magic in that tree, that it held some – some force or something. These last few months you have been more wrapped up in the past, haven’t you?” She sighed as she turned to face him. “It’s time to let her go. There is no magic, there are no spirits, the tree is just a tree. Please, for my sake and for all the girls, it’s time to let her go.”
“No excuses – and no apologies. What happened between us was all a long time ago, long in the past, it’s all over and done with now. Be happy for me, I’m twenty-one today and I’m going to get married this year.” She chuckled. “That’s that out of the way! Now this time, kiss me properly for my birthday – God, you never used to be this shy!”
“Does it affect you sleeping?” “Sometimes, yes. More if it’s been a specially stressful period at work, or if there’s a lot of stuff going on at home.” He chuckled at that thought. “Actually, there’s always a lot going on here. I have a large family, and they’re all female.”
“I was so upset at the time. I had to go away, it would have been impossible for me to live here, seeing you two together every day. And I did mean to write to you, but I’m afraid each time I tried, I found I couldn’t do it – I just couldn’t think what to say, and as time passed, it got harder and harder, so I’m afraid I gave up trying.”
“I can’t do this any more, I’m not strong enough. I’ve tried, goodness knows I’ve tried, but look at me, I’m a wreck. I’m drinking too much, I know I am, but I can’t help it. I’m neglecting my family, I – they don’t deserve me. Dear God, I even think sometimes they’d all be better off without me, if I wasn’t here.”
“Yes I do, of course I do,” she sighed, “but I – well, I don’t know if I want to get married yet – I’m only just twenty and he is only twenty-one, I just don’t know if I’m ready to settle down yet.” Michael nodded. “Everyone’s different, no-one can tell you if it’s right or wrong, you have to decide for yourself, whether it feels right for you. And if it doesn’t, then it’s simple, you don’t rush into it, that could really be a mistake.”
She giggled. “Ooh, this is lovely! I do so love champagne, I mean real, proper Froggy champagne, and there’s something rather decadent – you know, just a bit naughty – about drinking it after midnight.” Michael chuckled. “Mmm, especially when you’re not properly dressed either.”
He smiled at her, and briefly she returned the smile. She appeared nervous. “It was good of you to come.” Her voice sounded different too, slower and deeper, perhaps that’s due to her medication he thought. He leaned forward. “It’s lovely to see you again, though. How are you?” She nodded and looked down. “I don’t know, you tell me – how am I?”
“Jen, I can’t be sixty, it’s just not possible.” He shook his head as he poured himself another cup of coffee. “Sixty? I mean, I don’t even know yet what I want to be when I grow up.” Jen laughed at him. “Listen Radcliffe, when you do ever decide to start growing up, be sure to let me know, all right? I want to be ready with the camera.”
The Desolate Tree 